I claim a do-over!  It's my right, right?  As children we pick and choose among lists of job occupations...doctors, lawyers, firefighters...daily we seek approval from our teacher and parents impressing upon them our life choices.

What a load!

When life actually hits you, books are no longer free, you're out on your own, a regular citizen of our democracy...paid dead wages and eating Taco Bell...it's difficult to not choose for money's sake.

Anything to get me to a positive balance in my checking account.

i've always admired those that chucked away all security to work as waiters and bartenders...struggling for their art.  i couldn't do it.  I couldn't give up the securtiy of that paycheck.  To travel the world was out of reach and instead I tried to design my life around the all important paycheck.  Oh - and credit card debt.  

By the time I was 28 all desire was stamped out of me.  You wake up daily, go to work and collect your paycheck.  You argue with your boyfriend about who pays the gas bill and then you go to sleep.  Please let there be something more!  

I saw the life I wanted.  I met successful people - people whose artistic vision yielded millions in box office hits.  The cream of the crop.  As happy for them as I am for their accolades, those accolades are not mine.  They are for them and them alone, earned through hardwork and sacrifice.  It was through them that I began to see there were no boundries.  If i am the "Can do" girl, then why do I not do for myself. 

It was not until the death of one of my closest friends that I realized I had nothing to lose.  If I didn't decide to change my life, then how was it to change?  

i left in February of 2005.  

The happiest, most relaxing amazing, difficult journey of my life to date.  it changed me.  It gave me confidence and patience, two qualities I was in desparate need of!

And I came back. 

i came back to Los Angeles and was a bit lost.  A bit down.  I mean...you go from camel safaris and scuba diving to "So and so's office, may I help you?' 

So...I claim a do-over.  i'm going to do it for real.  I'm selling my house, saving some money and going back on the road.  I hope to inspire others to get out there, see the world!  Live a life you thought was impossible, improbable and indulgent.  i have no children, I have no ties that bind me to my desk job.  I love my family and friends however email is an amazing thing!

It's a do-over plain annd simple.