Heaven is In His Blood.
I asked God: "Can i swim it out?!"
In my dream, i was caught between
flowing sheets trying to figure thing's out.
The sheets kept waving and waving and waving...
throwing me into a passionate love trance.
The sheets were colored crimson, textured satin,
and the flow made my spirit dance.
I've never felt nothing like it.
I was in bliss when i awoke.
My throat was tight, my tongue; stuck,
i tried to speak, but only Heaven spoke.
Yet, there was no sound for my ears to hear...
just feeling. "Hush child, the spirit of God gestured as
his warm hands touched my heart... and then, right
then and there i swear, i almost fell apart;
as if, about to shatter to pieces. Nothing can
describe the type of energy that God's touch
releases! There, i lay, in time; peaceful and sound.
Nearly blind from God's light, i felt at ease, yet profound.
I just had to unwind and come back to myself -
from this foreign place that my spirit likes
to fly - as if by speed of light, as soon as i close
my eyes! Back to myself i came and then I thought
of love making and God snatched me back into
the spirit of Him. His power, so passionate, so
powerful, He leaves me incapable of rebellion.
A Trillion men strong - His power is. I try to take
control and think “what... is... going... on? Body
is stuck, can't move. I'm breathing like... ooooooooow.
Oh God... now i want to make love again!” But again,
the white light of God blinds me from the thought,
and i'm left thinking “is it sin?!” Is it sin against God to
want to make love to Him in the flesh? All the time,
i want to touch God the way he touches my heart.
In the powerful spirit of God, I am wooed and caught.
I think to myself “where is the man on earth for me
with such spirit like Him; and why do I have this
yearning, this aching... this wanting to be with God,
wholely, fully, amply?” On this thought I am fixated.
When I think about how miserable and lonely I have
been in my flesh, I hate it! I search for the “one” and
he seems nowhere to be found. Most men aren't virgins,
and some drink, some smoke, and some have tattoos,
and others curse or seem shallow and all and all I lose...
because such men I do not desire. I don't hate them but
those types don't set my heart on fire: instead... I just feel
sad. I'm saving myself for the One and at the same time
feeling bad... just plain old down all the time. Such a feeling
makes it hard to want to go on... feeling... inadequate...
being God's daughter; but God... let's me know everyday...
that he loves me... and now... my eyes just water.
It's hard being good, doing the right thing and being strong,
but I know I have to because satan watches me (this I know
for a fact) and I wont allow his ways to continue on! Not by
my choices in life, not by my actions! Satan by me, will get,
NO satisfaction! In life I have witnessed darkness filling
many peoples hearts, and I promised myself to not let
that same darkness rip my spirit apart. In life I have always
been alone because I was different in appearance, style, and
in attitude and I never cared to fit in, it just wasn't my mood.
I was alone all the time and I got quite use to it, until one day,
God knocked on the doors of my spirit! Afraid to answer; I ignored
it, but the knocking was always there, and ever more persistent!
So finally I answered the beckoning, and this loving Holy spirit saved
me from my sad lonely self, then I found myself in reckoning. And In the
midst of stressing, I started counting my blessings and considering
the path that has been newly placed before me. Knowing... that God
has me, holding me, loving me, but Him i can't touch. Then i
think "oh God... this is so... not fair." I want to touch you, hold
you, kiss you, but: where?" Then I joke “You have no... body”
but You... oh Lord... You are somebody.” You see? God is: So
special to You, so special to me. So special to all that is living,
especially humanity – made in God's image. Oh what a song
that Heaven plays upon me, strumming me like a fine instrument
for Heavens music. His presence I must say sometimes
makes me lovesick. How could I not be?! I'm languishing
everyday because, that whom I love has me stuck here
in my flesh while He seems so near, yet far away from me.
The one who gives my heart and soul joy... I can't even kiss.
The Love of God always makes me moan in bliss. When I
was younger I could've never imagined that there existed such
love like this! The Love Of God: i feel faint everytime i think of it.
And, the more i think of it, and the more i feel God's love, the
more i want to make love to someone; thinking... somehow
they'll feel it - Feel God, through me. Touch God through
my body. Find the "way" by way of love making. But: I have
mistaken! A man that hasn't given his heart to “God's way”
can't feel God. There's no shortcut! Lonely am I, and so
I thought of such. Godless men, I thought to make love to...
but such a thing I will not do. I've witnessed that most men
are Godless because of their Ego! I couldn't make love to
someone who's heart is loyal to themselves but isn't loyal to
God - the one who lavishes me in love. I'd consistently think “To
bad for me that an Angel wont just fall out of the sky from the great
Heavens above. Then He Did! And I grabbed Him and excitedly
asked “are you for me, sent from God? You don't smoke, you
don't drink, you don't speak profanely and you don't defile your
body, nor care for materialism or egotistical ways? Man if you
were that way, i'd make love to you everyday and have many
babies... Are you?!” Then the Angel answered... “Why yes,
I AM! I possess such clarity, that many of earthly minds lack to
come near. I possess such power that, many of earth don't
understand, so they fear. I possess such love that, many
on earth hold dear. I possess such control over wrongful
desires that many do hate me and envy, but, it doesn't
matter because God has been the greatest Love to me!
I possess a spirituality that is worthy of much love,
unflawed like pure water, not foggy like mud! And...
Together, “We flow” powerful... like a unexspected
flood.” Then I spoke and said... “Oh God, you leave
my thirst parched, yet quenched. I am so moved by
you, so touched! You leave me still wanting to show you
how I Love. God, could it be that you have finally shown
me the One that you have chosen for me to Love. His
words... he speaks so Spiritually... and Poetically, like me,
in tone, so profound.” Then... I noticed I felt a sense of
familiarity as this Angels spirit stood around! He continued
to speak... speaking of His Great Love for All Humanity
and then... He said, His Name... was Jesus! and my heart
nearly stopped and my eye's filled with tears. Then I told
Jesus I have been lonely for years. Just constantly lonely
all the time. Then Jesus whiped my tears away as His face
shined. Then He spoke and said “My child, for many years,
You have been blind, but now your eye's are open, and
I will open them a second and third time. The loneliness
that you possess is all within your mind. With the Love
that you possess, you can Love anybody. I tell you; you
can even love your enemy just as you love a friend. The love
that God has shown you is only the beginning. Now replicate
the Love that I have shown to You. And... Remember; You are
not alone: I am Always with you.” Then... Jesus disappeared;
and I just stood there in awe, thinking “I can't believe what I just
saw!” I stood there dumbfounded as if I had no clue. Then thinking
of the many faucets of Love I recited the quote in my mind
“What Would Jesus Do?” What... Would Jesus do; when faced
with Godless Men?! [He'd Teach Them that Heaven is in their
Blood and Aim to End the Rebellion!] One changed Heart can
Change millions! Many will choose to remain estranged, but through
God's Love One can Inspire Much Change. Change that “Flows
Powerful like an Unexspected Flood!” How does One even begin
to Understand All of the Dynamics of Love? There's only one
answer to The Way... Heaven is in His Blood!
- The End
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Signature [[[t]]]
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Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox~Aspire!~xoxoxoxoxoxoxoX
China Alicia Rivera AkA ShortyJewlz / Loville
My Myspace:
http://myspace.com/minimasterpieces
http://723.com/chinaaliciarivera
My Writing Sites:
http://writers-network.com/members/ShortyJewlz
http://www.soulcast.com/loville
My Art/Photo Galleries:
http://pictures.aol.com/galleries/minimasterpieces
http://flickr.com/photos/seeavisioneternally
My Groups:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Art-Of-Hearts-33-Poetry-Palace
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Art-Of-Hearts
SPAAA: Spirituality, Poetry And Art Alliance;
http://groups.myspace.com/spaaa
33 Experiences:
http://groups.myspace.com/33experiences
My Email Addresses:
seeavisioneternally@yahoo.com
minimasterpieces@aol.com
chinaaliciarivera@hotmail.com
loyal2god4ever33@gmail.com
~ Every Pain Has A Blessing! ~
Xoxoxoxox~ Peace and Love ~xoxoxoxoX
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008
