just got back from the City. wonderful time. re-energized. inspired. i must say though that sometimes i tend to forget the dangers of nyc (as i experience it when i am there). i am not referring to the physical urban unsafe environment it may present. actually, on the contrary, nyc is probably one of the safest big cities in the country. the attraction that led me there years ago was the dangers that surrounded the different sections. the seedy atmosphere of times square. the shadiness of the lower eastside. the insanity of it all. that is not the truth today. giuliani has transformed it into a touristy "disney world." no more reason to be afraid. Ah, but my reasons for fearing the City stem from within. i emerge a different self. i become vulnerable to the elements that urged me to flee. the social circles, the ambivalence, the dilemma requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives. i get lost, cannot see the forest through the woods. gotta get out. and then come back another time.