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viewing 1 - 10 out of 11 total
What no one understands
Date: Feb 11 2008, 6:50 pm Mood: Other
Happy with the silence, content in the solitude, fearless in the dark, at peace inside myself, greatful for my pain, so let the darkness cover all, and the thunder shake the ground, let the lightning crack, and the rain begin to fall, I am safe in this place, where i choose to keep myself, A place inside my mind, to others its not real, so bring on the thunder, for in my soal it does not shake me, let the lightning crack, for my eyes will never see it, let the rain fall forever, for i will not feel it, I am safe in my sotitude, protected in the silance, with my invencable soal I can walk through the dark, the light inside me lets me see, but not with my eyes, nor do I hear with my ears, nor speak with my mouth, but I see with my soal, and hear with my heart, and speak with my actions, if you can see me, but not like others do, If you see with your heart and hear with your soal, when you find others that do then never let go, dont let me confuse you, i am not insaine, I just refuse to live in this world of pain................
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Secrets of my own
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:59 pm Mood: Other
All the things that I know But will never tell, All the Secrets I hide deep down inside, I will never tell and you will never know, They are mine and they wont let me die, To let them out would make me cry, Some things eat you alive from the inside out, Some thing you feed on and they help you survive, I have lots of these things harbored in my soal, I will never tell and you will never know, The depths of my heart are for no one to see and no one to know, My secrets my deepest thoughts, The things No one knows, things that never see the light, I fight for their survival, and protect them with a devilish vengance, dont get to close dont ask to much, cause the preservation of these things are more importaint than anyone will ever be, They are who I am and They keep me alive, to my grave I will take them and then i will have the time to cry..............
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Inner peace
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:58 pm Mood: Other
You know I have decided that none of what goes on around me, I mean all the things that are out of my control, well they dont really matter. I am trying really hard to find my inner peace in myself because I know that is the only thing that I can depend on and the only thing that will keep me alive. Just the sheer serinity in life and its simple things that cant ever be distroied or manipulated into ugly nasty things. Like the veiw of the ocean or from a mountain top. Like the way a work of art or a song makes you feel. The depth of my true inner soal and all of its beauty. There is peace inside of me deep down where it is hard to find. In my writing and art and in being quiet even if just for a second I have learned how to hear that music that is in my head. NOt a song like you hear on the radio or at a bar, But a melody with so much beauty and warmth. The rythm of my heart through its highs and lows. Falling into yourself is like falling into the unknown untill you get there and find out it wa always right there. I have always been very afraid of myself and what is inside me. But I think that I have been pushed to a place where I have no where else in this world to look for peace acept in myself. Now that I have been brave enough to look this deep and fall into this place I just hope I can remember this morning and find my way back whenever there comes another time when there is no where else to be that is safe.
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truth and faith
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:57 pm Mood: Other
Here we are on this journey called life, walking into a huge abyss, a place unknown a place never charted, darkness is all you can see ahead of you because the future is always unknown, we as human beings live with the constant illution that we for some reason can know what the future holds and predict how people are going to react from one day to the next, but this is only a fantacy and a dream, the fact is that we have no control over the people and situations that surround us, anything can always happen and every one will always have the free will to do as they please, people talk about trust and faith and tell me " you just have to hope and believe" yes i do believe in God and i do believe in his word and his ways, but the only control that i have over my future is the control that i have over myself, I have faith in God and my self but not so much for the people and things that surround me, simply because, even God cannot override the free will of the people around me who choose to do what they want and make decitions that can sometimes impact me, so in this path of confusion and uncertinty what do you do where do you turn how does anyone ever know the truth from a lie, all we know is what we see and feel, so you go on believing in yourself and holding on to the things you know to be true, as for all the rest of this life it is what it is and you can accept it or laydown and let it eat you alive, now i dont know about you but as for me i am going to keep going and try my best to decifer the meaning of it all, cause i may cry and i may do lots of things and say lots of things that people think are crazy wrong or they just dont understand but you know i dont care because i am Brooke this is it and this is all...........
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Missing you
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:56 pm Mood: Other
As I sit here alone;
I only think of you;
With cigerettes and beer;
I sadly shed a tear;
You visit me in my sleep;
I wake and feel you there;
then I open my eyes;
and I can only sigh;
I try to picture your face;
and pretend I'm in your arms;
your voice echos in my mind;
People say you'll be fine;
When I close my eyes;
You feel so close;
My body a tremble;
I'll always remember;
To hold on so tight;
To continue to fight;
to feel your breath on my skin;
and hold you again
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Feeling all alone
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:56 pm Mood: Other
The feeling of solitude; Where did it come from;
The feeling of fear; Where was it born;
The pain, the hate, such a heavy weight;
So unexplainable; you can not see it;
You can not touch it; You can not hear it;
But it is real; yet rarely reveiled;
It is held inside; In a dark place;
It feeds on your soal; still nobody knows;
It sometimes surfaces; and shows its face;
When it takes control; you are no longer you;
But a shell of yourself; completly confused;
Walking as if dead; you slowly tred;
Down the road of life; While you try to fight;
And after a while you start to win;
these feelings retreat;
Back to there secret place; They stay very quiet;
You forget they are there; Then without warning;
They show their face; The pain and the hurt;
come in and replace; all that you know;
and all that you feel; You never really know;
Which side of you is real;
It makes you diferent; It makes you stand out;
Some would say your crazy; others you have a gift; These feelings, these thoughts; so deep inside;
Are scars on your heart; That just never die;
They will alway come alive;
when ever they choose;
Just always remember; they dont define you;
They are not who you are; There something different by far;
The're all the pain of your life;
brought to the light; and only the strongest;
will win the fight
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"life of the single mom"
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:54 pm Mood: Other
You love your kids, but know you will never be able to give them what you want them to have.So you go through the days and the nights and do what must be done,You try and you fail and you try again,You hold your head high so no one can see, the pain and suffering that you feel everyday,You walk all alone, with the faces of your babies pushing you on, you cry you screem and sometimes you dream, for a future without suffering where all is well, a way out of this hell, you have so much desire to raise them right and you want so badly to win the fight, but at every door and every turn there is always something in the way,the child support dont come and there is no help, you save every penny but it never fails, someone will get sick or something will go wrong and then you are back singing the same old song, so to all the moms that feel like their hope is gone all i can say is keep reading along, you got to keep going and pray everyday that God will grant a better way, you children will grow no matter what, so love them and hold them and never give up, and to all of those who put you down and judge your ways, they will never know just what to say, to a woman that is stronger then anything and a mother who will sucssed through everything, we are one of a kind and diserve respect this is what we should never forget.
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for my daughter Hope
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:53 pm Mood: Other
One cold morning, and a glorious day, I was given an angel, to light my way, a dream for the future, and a cure for the past, my love for her, will always last, she brings me "Hope", on the darkest days, without her, I would loose my way, She is my daughter, my love and my life, I can never repay her, for all the light, the light she reflects, into my days, to give me "Hope", and show me the way.
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for my son Luke
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:53 pm Mood: Other
My special little boy, and a strong little man, he is the rock, that helps me stand, come rain sleet snow or hail, he will never let me fail, he's lived through the bad, and enjoied the good, always stood by my side, when no one else would, God gave him to me, to love and protect, I will never have words, but I can reflect, how much I love him, I will never forget.
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"Together Again"
Date: Feb 11 2008, 5:52 pm Mood: Other
Together again; thats all I want; for you to touch me; with your hand so soft; I'd wrap my arms around you; just to feal you near; you'd scare away my problems; and swallow all of my fears; like a mother with a baby; you give me all your time; your lips as soft as satin; I feel them touching mine; you are are my only shelter; from the pounding rain; but as the storm goes on; you make me feel no pain; the rain will make an ocean; you keep me on the sand; I am your littl ebaby; my heart is in your hand; underneith the stars; our kiss would never end; the foam from the waves; would cool our burning skin; after al the rain; a rainbows in the sky; but my feelings deep inside; only make me seigh; I only have one wish; to look into your eyes; a deep myserious world; that I can not deny
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