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Posted on Feb 11 2008, 5:58 pm
Mood: Other
You know I have decided that none of what goes on around me, I mean all the things that are out of my control, well they dont really matter. I am trying really hard to find my inner peace in myself because I know that is the only thing that I can depend on and the only thing that will keep me alive. Just the sheer serinity in life and its simple things that cant ever be distroied or manipulated into ugly nasty things. Like the veiw of the ocean or from a mountain top. Like the way a work of art or a song makes you feel. The depth of my true inner soal and all of its beauty. There is peace inside of me deep down where it is hard to find. In my writing and art and in being quiet even if just for a second I have learned how to hear that music that is in my head. NOt a song like you hear on the radio or at a bar, But a melody with so much beauty and warmth. The rythm of my heart through its highs and lows. Falling into yourself is like falling into the unknown untill you get there and find out it wa always right there. I have always been very afraid of myself and what is inside me. But I think that I have been pushed to a place where I have no where else in this world to look for peace acept in myself. Now that I have been brave enough to look this deep and fall into this place I just hope I can remember this morning and find my way back whenever there comes another time when there is no where else to be that is safe.
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